In February of 2024, CINTIMA founders Yehuda, Jimanekia, and Jaclyn were invited to ICIC2024 (The International Conference for Intimacy Coordinators) in Berlin, Germany. We spoke on panels, participated in workshops, learned from and shared space with leaders in our global community. In the last minute CINTIMA lead instructor Yehuda Duenyas was not able to attend because of a shift to their shooting schedule in the US. However they were asked to prepare a statement in absentia to be read during the panel at which they were meant to speak. The following is Yehuda’s written contribution, which was read at the ICIC2024 panel “Exploring Worlds of Intimacy:”

15 FEB 2024

Hi everyone, If you’ll all allow a quick moment for thanks and gratitude, I’d like to extend a warm thank you to Sam, Kate, Heather, Kasia, Florian, Franzy and all of BIK, and to this incredible panel, Julia, Sara, Tigger and again Sam, for your sensitive thoughts and insights, and to all of you who are attending and listening to this unfolding dialogue - this act of “becoming”. Thank you. 

While I am unable to be physically present to hold space with you all, Sam graciously asked me to share some reflections on our topic today: Worlds of Intimacy.

So here goes: 

We are Intimacy.

We are conceived into being through what many of us consider to be our most intimate acts. 

We gestate for 9 months inside the body of our parent, feeding through their body, breathing through their body, sheltered in a warm, fluid sanctuary created by their body, deeply nestled inside the body of another human. 

We are then designed to enter into the world through what we consider to be our most intimate body parts. If we were born through the vaginal canal, our heads are meant to turn towards the posterior of our parent so that our mouths come into contact with their anus, which seeds our digestive organs with our parent’s microbiome.

We are then biologically wired to crawl up our parent’s stomach, to feel their skin on the whole of our tiny bodies, finding solace in the embrace of our caregiver, nurturing a bond forged through skin-to-skin contact, finding our way up to their chest, where we then suckle and feed off of their nourishing milk, milk produced from deep within their bodies. 

This is the world that we are born into, this is our biological imperative. If this is not intimate, what is? Intimacy, it seems, is our birthright. Intimacy is our world, it belongs to us, and when we are born, Intimacy is our everything.

And yet here we are, in a fractured and divided world, counting the bodies, fighting off autocracies, wrestling with a warming planet - and our own complicity in a changing climate, being manipulated by the algorithms of the attention economy, neighbor turning on neighbor, begging to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be treated with dignity. It indeed feels like we are on a knife’s edge, wondering what world will be left to our children, what are the new “normals” that they will have to endure, but that to them, will just seem “normal.” Our innate intimacy contrasts sharply with the fractured reality we inhabit

Yet, amidst these challenges, would it be naive to find hope in the practice of Intimacy Coordination?

When we speak of the art and practice of Intimacy Coordination - for screen or live performance, we offer a framework for performers and creators to engage safely and thoughtfully in portrayals of intimacy, whether fictionalized, performative, or simulated. When we begin a practice in this field, we begin to engage in crucial interpersonal, intra-personal and social skills that are so deeply needed in our global discourse: 

Consent, Boundaries, understanding of power dynamics, the spectrum of sexuality, relationship models and styles, BDSM, Kink and Fetish, Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging, Communication, Self care, Trauma Awareness, Nervous System Regulation, Gender and Trans Awareness, Anti-Sexual Harassment, Anti Racism, Acceptance, Tolerance, Conflict Resolution, Open Dialogue, Seeing another person. 

These are life skills that our world so desperately needs right now. 

In a world that increasingly seeds differences and capitalizes—even profits— on division, perhaps through the lens of this practice — our practice — we can return to the promise of our own birthright: the profound intimacy that we are born into. By cultivating a world where intimacy is nurtured, cherished, respected, and even taught and learned, we not only enhance our interpersonal connections but also address the pressing needs of our time. Through the art of Intimacy Coordination, we have the opportunity to inspire the world to see intimacy in everything.

Thank you!