If your birth year starts with the number 19, you probably remember a time when you finished a movie wondering if they were actually “doing it.” Some examples of such speculation include “Eyes Wide Shut,” “The Brown Bunny,” and “The Last Tango in Paris.” Whether real or simulated, racy scenes like the ones in these films have sparked controversy, criticism, and in some cases even censorship. But it’s likely that the publicity around those singular scenes is what drew audiences to the theaters and made these films as popular as they became. These films pushed the boundaries of on-screen intimacy, and we’ve learned that too many of them were done with little to no regard for the ethical considerations of cast and crew. Intimacy Coordination is a role that developed out of the need for clear boundaries, consent-driven choreography, and transparent filmmaking practices. And today - in a post #metoo resurgence world with Intimacy Coordinators on set - audiences remain more curious than ever about how the juicy scenes are done. Hint: choreography.
Choreography is the art of crafting and sequencing movements to convey emotion, narrative, and intention through physical expression. It’s the process of orchestrating the flow, rhythm, and dynamics of movement to tell a story of intimacy. We tell stories to evoke emotion from an audience. In the world of filmmaking, the director conducts this orchestra. Every once in a while, the director might hand the baton over to the Intimacy Coordinator. Oh, happy day! Wait… or is the Intimacy Coordinator the baton? This is a developing field, people, we’re working on it! Intimacy Coordinators are artists and storytellers, and choreography is a privilege that allows us to resonate with an audience by shaping and sculpting bodies around the camera lens to create visual poetry.
The anatomy of choreography in Intimacy Coordination is a delicate balance of artistry, empathy, and technical skill. Every movement is built on the foundation of the performers’ boundaries. Intimacy Coordinators can help craft sequences that convey the emotional and narrative intent of a script. Every touch, glance, and gesture must resonate with the story being told. This resonance is visceral and is felt only through the collaborative efforts of everyone on set, and only when performers can explore the depths of their characters with confidence and trust - a framework facilitated by the Intimacy Coordinator. The process of choreographing intimacy is an intricate dance of navigating time, space, and vulnerabilities which demands patience, sensitivity, and creative ingenuity.
Script analysis is the first step in choreographing intimacy scenes, and it often unfolds as a collaborative effort with performers who are already doing their work and immersing themselves in their characters’ worlds. The performers’ insights into character motivations, emotional arcs, and thematic elements - these are the tools we work with, this is at the foundation of what we do. We find key moments that might inform the Sexual Blueprint of a character or underlying power dynamics that we can catch in a close up of a tight grip of the wrist. Conflict and vulnerabilities shape these scenes, so this is where the Intimacy Coordinator looks first in shaping choreography that authentically reflects the emotional truth of the scene.
A dance choreographer might incorporate a chair a la Save the Last Dance or an umbrella a la Tom Holland’s on Lip Sync Battle (which is obviously his best performance yet). These kinds of tools might translate into a modesty garment that a performer might wear in an intimate scene to keep the camera from catching something that isn’t cleared in a nudity rider. A simulated sex scene might require a barrier to reduce sensation between performers’ bodies. We might make prop or costume suggestions to honor the authenticity of a BDSM scene. Camera angles and lighting are choreographic tools. An Intimacy Coordinator’s personal life experience might be their most powerful tool in bringing a scene to life using their own creative fingerprint. This takes courage, and I find more and more confidence each time I get the opportunity to choreograph.
Okay this is everything that could go right… but when does that ever happen? So let’s prepare for the worst possible case scenario! Intimacy Coordinators cannot get attached to their choreography. What happens if a performer unexpectedly starts the menstrual phase of their cycle during filming? At the very least, this would mean adjustments to modesty garments if we end up shooting the scene at all. Planned Parenthood coined the consent and boundaries framework, FRIES. Of course, this framework does not translate perfectly to the nuance of Intimacy Coordination (tell us in the comments if you want to read a blog all about why!), so Intimacy Directors and Coordinators later made some alterations to better suit this work. But the acronym remains an easy way to remember that consent is always Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific. This means that if a performer rescinds consent for any reason (i.e., emotional triggers, physical discomfort), the Intimacy Coordinator prioritizes their well-being and adapts choreography as necessary. What if there’s an executive producer on set who doesn’t like the choreography? You have to scrap that idea with diplomacy and practice clear communication to make adjustments in the time you have left to shoot the scene. It’s natural to see boundaries, consent, and the constraints of production as limiting factors to the full expression of the artistry of this work and sometimes it might be hard not to take things personally. But I like to reframe these challenges as the pressure cooker that produces creativity. The muscles of adaptability, collaboration, and artistic integrity are what we hope to build in our students.
Music communicates the feelings that words cannot. Choreography communicates the feelings that music cannot. Intimacy Coordinators aren’t always given the opportunity to choreograph the scenes we work on, but when we do, we become conductors. Of energy, of music, of intimacy. The reading and research, the consent and boundary meetings, the choosing of modesty garments and barriers, all of this preparation creates movie magic. Performers remain safe while audiences are kept wondering where they really “doing it.”
